Ozzie, a longtime fan of hair bands (for obvious reasons) was thrilled to discover his new “rebel outlaw” t-shirt from the Bret Michaels’ Pets Rock collection at PetSmart for roughly 90% off its original price. That venture may not be working so well for Bret…

“I was very happy to find an outfit that expresses my philosophy of life and is also a good value.”

Jada, on the other hand, rejected the collection, which includes tiny pleather minidresses and skull-printed bandanas, for fear of being mistaken for a groupie or, worse, a canine of questionable taste. She choose a simple sundress instead.

“Understated elegance is always in fashion. And I don’t care about the cost–it’s not like the AmEx has my name on it.”