thefoofoohounds

The adventures of two reluctant pets

Foo!

Posted on October 14, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

Halloween is the Foos favorite holiday. They’ve been planning their outfits for a long time. Jada is quite particular.

“This is not very original, even if it does suit our personalities.”

They think something more elaborate might be better.

“We look fabulous, but very trendy. I prefer something more classic.”

They seek inspiration from scary movies. Jada promptly dozes off.

“And she always falls asleep on the remote. Dammit.”

Jada dreams of Halloween possibilities.

“We could star in a Tim Burton movie. We’re as cute as Johnny Depp.”

…and of something more traditional.

“I would be a very elegant ghost.”

When she wakes up, she realizes she has thought of the perfect costumes to showcase their true selves.

Foo-union

Posted on August 19, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

Ozzie and Jada have been a little bored, missing the days when life was more exciting.

“Remember the glory days, Jada?”

Ozzie dreams of when he was cool.

“I used to be edgy. Now I’m just fluffy.”

Ozzie persuades Jada to try on their wardrobe from the old days.

“We look great…but something is missing.”

They know what they need to do.

“I think I hear the Foos! They need me!”

The band is back together.

“It’s the Foos and Friend Reunion Tour!”

Wardrobe Updates

Posted on August 4, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

Ozzie, a longtime fan of hair bands (for obvious reasons) was thrilled to discover his new “rebel outlaw” t-shirt from the Bret Michaels’ Pets Rock collection at PetSmart for roughly 90% off its original price. That venture may not be working so well for Bret…

“I was very happy to find an outfit that expresses my philosophy of life and is also a good value.”

Jada, on the other hand, rejected the collection, which includes tiny pleather minidresses and skull-printed bandanas, for fear of being mistaken for a groupie or, worse, a canine of questionable taste. She choose a simple sundress instead.

“Understated elegance is always in fashion. And I don’t care about the cost–it’s not like the AmEx has my name on it.”

The Foo Commandments

Posted on May 6, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

Sometimes Ozzie and Jada talk about the old days.

“Remember how many rules there were?”

According to the breed standards, “Shelties worked as farm helpers and home protectors, watching over crofters’ cottages, flocks and herds from invaders of all kinds.”

“At least we missed that era. That must have been really annoying.”

‘Normally the expression should be alert, gentle, intelligent and questioning.’

“We have a question. When’s dinner?”

“Mane and frill should be abundant, and particularly impressive in males.”

“Nailed it.”

“Carriage of tail at rest is straight down or in a slight upward curve. When the dog is alert the tail is normally lifted, but it should not be curved forward over the back.”

“I’m retired. Neener.”

Little Bunny Foo Foos

Posted on April 6, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

The Foos normally enjoy dressing up for special occasions. It turned out that Easter-wear does not meet with their approval.

"Why? WHY??"

Perhaps Ozzie will be more amenable to the bunny suit.

"Guess again."

Maybe a little fresh air will help–and perhaps Jada would rather be dressed as a pink marshmallow Peep.

"X(*&^%$$$$@##!!"

Okay, Jada goes back in the bunny suit…

"What sort of twisted minds manufacture these things?"

Ozzie grows impatient.

"You wouldn't like us when we're angry."

Ever practical, Jada finds a way to end the torment.

"Smile. It's the only way it's going to stop."

Foo-versary

Posted on April 2, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

Today marks one year since Jada embarked on her new life as a pet. She didn’t care for it at first.

"I am in a pen inside a fence. Retirement is overrated."

She was deeply not happy.

"Sarah McLaughlin should be singing a sad song about me."

Eventually, she began to adjust to pet-hood.

"Sometimes this way of life is relaxing."

And she got even better at it.

"Yep. Relaxing."

When Ozzie arrived, she stopped missing her old life.

"Every dog needs a dog of her own."

She celebrated her one-year anniversary in style.

"It's good to be queen."

She and Ozzie had a party.

"If we had lips, we could have noisemakers."

Special snacks were served.

The Foos were very excited.

"We have never had frosting."

They decided to try for more.

"It appears we are rewarded for sacrificing our once-considerable dignity. This should get us a steak."

Fleecy Foos

Posted on March 11, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

The Foos asked for new outfits for Easter, but were not pleased with what the sale rack had to offer.

"These are fuzzy and loud."

Ozzie is uncharacteristically angry. Jada is distraught.

"We would not even take a biscuit from you now."

Typically, Ozzie quickly sees the bright side.

"I look cool, like I'm going to the gym."

Jada is not convinced.

"Just call me little Red Riding Spot."

Ozzie points out that the new outfits can keep them safe.

"I am safe from any hunters who might wander through the yard and mistake me for a deer."

Jada is beginning to be persuaded.

"We look like superheroes with capes."

She is finally won over by the ruffle on her hood.

"I feel like I am wearing the garb of my proud ancestors, who traveled from dog show to dog show across the prairie in covered wagons."

Foo fun

Posted on January 30, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

The foos are still thinking about their friend Mattie’s visit. Jada was confused at first.

"That's not Ozzie."

But they all got reacquainted over snacks.

"She's company. Bring out the good stuff. Don't embarrass us."

Ozzie and Mattie enjoyed acting out scenes from their favorite movies.

"Stayin' alive...stayin' alive...ah ha ha ha...stayin' aliiiiiiiiive..."

Jada is more philosophical, and persuaded them to join her in a tableau representing her personal motto.

"See no evil...etc."

It was fun, but tiring, and by evening they wanted to relax.

"If we had thumbs, we could work the TV remote and watch Animal Planet."

The foos’ friend

Posted on January 22, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

This is an especially exciting weekend for the foos. They invited their friend Mattie to visit.

Ozzie greets her.

"You look great! Love your hair."

They catch up on their news…

"This is a private conversation. We'll call you when we need biscuits."

…and then go outside. They heard it was going to snow.

"Is that a flake?"

They perform a secret canine snow dance.

words redacted because they're secret

It works.

"Damn."

Never underestimate the power of the foos and friend.

"Next, world peace. Or more nap time. We haven't decided."

Weekend foos

Posted on January 15, 2012 by thefoofoohounds

The foos decided to take advantage of the post-holiday sales to update their wardrobes. They thought they’d like some new sweaters.

Stripes have one drawback, though.

"Do these make us look fat?"

They have to make sure that their new outfits do not interfere with their active schedules.

"I hope we find a sale on tiny running shoes someday."

Shopping is exhausting, and the foos want to relax. Jada changes into her pink fluffy housecoat.

"The right clothes are so important."

She and Ozzie relax in the den.

"We wonder what's on "Masterpiece Theater" tonight.

Period drama always has the same effect on Jada.

"This is ....fascinating....really. Such wonderful.....zzzzz...costumes and architect..."

"...ure. zzzzzzzzzzzzz"